Sidney Crosby smiles at a grizzly bear named Brent. Courtesy of Zimbio. |
In this edition of MN Sports Emporium, Dr. J—a former college
netminder—talks to himself about the NHL playoffs. Let’s listen in. CAUTION: If
you keep reading, you will learn about physics, and it will be fun and
interesting and you won't fall asleep.
---
So Dr. J,
why should I be watching the NHL playoffs? Isn’t hockey less popular than
NASCAR?
Well, if you are going by the 2014 Harris Poll of favorite
American sports, then yes, hockey (6% of poll) is below NASCAR (7%). Just for
reference, the NBA is also at 6%. The NFL still has a stranglehold on this
poll, as it is the favorite sport of 32% of the American population. Doesn’t
mean any of the sports mentioned here aren’t exciting.
Drive
fast, turn left!
Yeah something like that. Anyway, how about we talk some ice
hockey?
I mean,
if we have to…
We have to. This is Minnesota.
To answer your initial question, the NHL playoffs marry the high
intensity of UFC fight with the skill and subtlety of a high-stakes chess
match. There is constant drama, end-to-end action, and a desperate style of
play that will keep you on the edge of your seat.
Courtesy of Wikipedia Commons. |
Convince
me.
The game is fast, physical, and frenetic. Grown men are throwing
well-tuned flesh machines at each other with seemingly reckless abandon. Small
rubber objects are getting hurled across frozen water at velocities great
enough to end your life. And on the other end of these missiles is some yahoo
crazy enough to stand in front of this live ammunition. Like that’s his job. To
get hit with a 100 mph projectile.
Yeah, but
don’t goalies have a bunch of pads on?
That’s true, they certainly do. And for good reason. But that
doesn’t mean goalies are impervious to the ramifications of a slap shot, just ask Kari Lehtonen.
And you also have to realize that there are players on the ice not
as well equipped to handle the rubber rockets as goalies. Skaters have minimal
padding in many areas (such as the face) and, as routinely seen in the
playoffs, they are the ones sprawling out all over the ice trying to get in
front these shots so the goalie doesn’t have to. By the way, before you ask, it
is against the rules to wear a full face mask.
Wait,
wait. Are you kidding me? No face masks. What’s up with that?
Believe it or not, it’s a safety concern. Stick with me here. If
someone runs into or checks you with a full cage and you don’t have anything,
your face is going to get shoveled in much worse than some little rubber object
hitting you.
Why don’t
they just make everyone wear a mask then?
Because hockey players are crazy. The argument is you have better
vision if there isn’t something in your line of sight... I don’t know, take it
up with the union.
So no
face masks, huh? What if someone gets hit in the face? Does that ever happen?
All the time. In the 2013 Stanley Cup Finals, Andrew Shaw took a
shot to the cheek and it broke his face. Besides the broken bones, there was an
initial wound on his cheek and then an exit wound around his eye from the
intense pressure caused by impact.
Courtesy of the Daily Mail and Getty Images. |
Gross
dude. Why doesn’t he at least wear one of those protective half-shields?
Because he may actually be crazy. Like for real. This season he
took another puck to the face and swallowed two teeth, incurring 18 stitches in
the process. Still doesn’t wear a mask.
Geez. So
how long was he out for?
Didn’t miss a game in either instance.
What??
And that’s really not even that bad, to be honest. His current
teammate Duncan Keith took a shot to the mouth during the 2010 playoff run and
lost seven teeth. He returned to the game seven minutes later and finished the
game.
And he
came back in? Why would he do that?
According to Keith, “It’s just missing teeth. It’s a long way from
the heart.”
Cheeky.
I see what you did there.
So that must be like
getting beaned by a fastball in baseball then?
Worse, actually. Since a hockey puck is smaller and weighs more, it actually delivers more pressure on impact in comparison to a baseball by factor ≥ 2.5.
2.5? Where did that number come from? I thought Aroldis Chapman threw the ball like 105 MPH
Yes, he has been known to do that. But the fastest shot in the NHL this year was clocked at 108.5 MPH via Shea Weber (somewhere Kari Lehtonen’s balls are shivering). We can deduce the factor of 2.5 using simple physics.
Please don’t.
Pressure is equal to force divided by area. Since the distance from the mound to the plate is roughly equal to a slap shot from the blue line, and the measured velocities of the fastest slap shot and fastball are roughly equivalent, we can assume that the acceleration of each projectile is the same, for the purposes of this exercise.
Whatever you say.
Thus, by comparing the projectile’s cross sectional area and the
relative pressure delivered on impact, we see that a hockey puck will hurt
about 2.5 times as much as getting hit by a baseball.
That’s
more than I needed to know.
You’re welcome.
Okay I
get it. People get hit in the face. What else happens?
Well in the 2013 Stanley Cup final, Patrice Bergeron played with a
punctured lung, broken ribs, torn cartilage/muscle, and a separated shoulder.
Against doctors orders he literally risked his life to play for the Cup.
No, I
meant with the actual sport. Enough of this “hockey players are tough”
rhetoric. Tell me about hockey. I always have trouble getting into it on TV.
Oh, sorry. The game is extremely fast so I understand your
sentiment. The NHL could do a better job showing slow motion replays of in-game
plays. It takes a ridiculous amount of hand eye coordination and balance to
play the sport, something that may be lost during a typical broadcast. For
instance, check out this recent goal from
Wisconsin’s own Joe Pavelski. You really have to see it a few times to
appreciate it.
Hey that
was neat. Maybe I’ll try to watch some of the finals. Who’s in it again?
The San Jose Sharks and the Pittsburgh Penguins.
Have I
heard of anyone playing?
There’s this Sidney Crosby guy that plays for the Penguins. He’s
pretty good.
Well yeah….
But who else should I care about?
Seeing as how you are Minnesotan, here’s a list of players you
might be interested in:
Sharks:
Paul
Martin – Elk River, MN and Minnesota Golden Gopher
Justin
Braun – White Bear Lake, MN
Brent Burns – Former Minnesota WildYou might remember Brent from his years with the Wild. He had more teeth back then. Courtesy of CBS Sports. |
Penguins:
Matt
Cullen – Moorhead, MN and St. Cloud State Husky
Phil
Kessel – Madison, WI and Minnesota Golden Gopher
Pascal
Dupuis – Former Minnesota Wild (currently on Injured Reserve)
Sidney
Crosby – CANADA and Shattuck St. Mary’s (MN)
What
about that Malkin guy?
Ah, yes. Evgeni Malkin, a native Russian, is another superstar
playing for the Penguins. When Malkin went out with an upper body injury with a
month left to play in the season, no one was sure how the Penguins would handle
losing their 2nd-leading scorer. Pittsburgh responded by going on an
absolute tear, winning 14 of their last 16 games. In fact, they were playing so
well without him, many wondered if Malkin’s return would disrupt team chemistry
during their opening series against the New York Rangers.
That didn’t happen. Head coach Mike Sullivan, who was promoted
from the AHL team half way through the season, astutely slotted Malkin in as
the third line center and, in response, he has averaged nearly a point per game
this playoffs on the way to winning the Eastern Conference.
An
all-World player centering your third line? Talk about some serious offensive
depth.
Exactly. Hey wait, since when did you become a hockey fan?
Since I
looked at your notes.
Well played.
But I can’t
pretend that I’ve been watching much of the playoffs so far. What have I
missed?
It has been a very interesting playoffs this year. The biggest
league powerhouses were eliminated in the first round, opening the door for a
new champion to be crowned. Previously, the Chicago Blackhawks and Los Angeles
Kings had combined to win 5 out of the last 6 Stanley Cups and were being
considered as modern day dynasties. After those two went down the field has
been wide open.
Another Caps season ends with this fan inadvertently gluing his hand to his forehead. Courtesy of thedraftanalyst.com. |
The Western Conference equivalent to the Capitals in recent years
would probably be the St. Louis Blues (Well, now that San Jose has finally made
it to the Cup. This is the first time the Sharks have made the Stanley Cup
Finals, having been the victims of several playoff upsets over the past fifteen
years in earlier playoff rounds, including a catastrophic collapse to the Kings
after going up 3-0 in the series two years ago. The Sharks have been in San
Jose since 1976.). The Blues have had one of the top three records in their
conference in each of the last five years but have consistently lost early in
the playoffs. Running into the Kings twice, Blackhawks, and (gasp) Wild over
the last 4 seasons was not kind to them.
This year was different as the Blues finally eliminated the rival
Blackhawks and made it to their first conference finals since 2001. But after
losing to the Sharks in the Conference Finals, it appears that once again the
Blues are snake..err…Shark-bitten.
Anything
else of note?
Nashville impressed. Dallas has talent. And Tampa Bay once again
fought through key injuries to come oh so close.
Gotcha.
So what should I look for in the Cup Finals?
Look for two talented rosters with a lot of offensive firepower.
This series shapes up to be a very exciting Stanley Cup Final with two teams
that finished in the top 5 in goals scored during the regular season
(Pittsburgh was #2 and San Jose was #4).
The two squads are pretty evenly matched. The Penguins might have
the advantage in team speed and Finals experience while the Sharks have more
depth up and down the roster. Both teams do well with puck control. San Jose
has an extremely dangerous power play while Pittsburgh has the advantage in the
respective penalty kills.
Aside from the scoring of blue-liner Brent Burns, who had an
absurd 27 goals during the regular season, the most from a defenseman since
2009, the Sharks boast the playoffs most effective forward line thus far. Star
players Joe Thornton and Pavelski, along with Tomas Hertl, have been a
nightmare for opposing defenses with their strong puck possession, passing, and
ability to create space in the offensive zone. It will be interesting to see
how the Penguins decide to match up with this line. My guess is you will see
the Sidney Crosby line go face-to-face with this potent force.
So get ready for a supernova. Because stars are set to collide.
That joke: Caruso-inspired, Tyson-approved. Courtesy of Business Insider. |
You are
terrible.
Thanks.
Also available for the Penguins is the infamous HBK line,
consisting of Carl Haglin, Nick Bonino, and Phil Kessel. These guys are a
quick, offensive-minded trio whose play has even caught the attention of the
original Heart Break Kid, Shawn Michaels. If this line continues to score, it
will be hard for the Sharks to keep up.
"Mr. Michaels, two questions: First, do you think you're cute? And second, how confident are you in your sexiness?" Courtesy of NHL.com. |
The most interesting story here, though, has to be the
goaltending. While both starting goalies lack in NHL playoff experience,
neither has shown a glimpse of vulnerability thus far. In Pittsburgh, the
Penguins turned to AHL goalie Matt Morris after battle-tested starting ‘tender,
Marc-Andre Fleury, went down with a concussion before the playoffs. The 22 year
old Morris has stepped in brilliantly, putting together a fantastic postseason
with a 93.0 save percentage and a 2.00 goals against average. He remains in
goal heading into the Cup finals even though Fleury is back healthy.
On the other end, Martin Jones has put up similar numbers for San
Jose at 91.9 save percentage and a 2.12 GAA. This is Martin Jones’ first year
on the Sharks. He was formerly the backup to top tier goalie Jonathan Quick on
the Los Angeles Kings. But without anywhere for their backup to go, the Kings
decided to part ways with Jones before the season by trading him on sub-market
value to the Eastern Conference’s Boston Bruins, a trade designed specifically
to keep him away from their Western Conference rival, the San Jose Sharks.
This plan completely backfired as the Bruins flipped Jones to the
Sharks four days after acquiring him. Making matters worse, the Sharks
eliminated the Kings in the first round this year, in no small part to Jones’
stellar play in the series. Take that, LA.
Interesting
stuff. So who you got winning the Cup?
Should be a tight series so it could be hard to call. In
situations like this I usually let the mascots battle it out. Here’s what nature says is
going to happen.
That’s
depressing. Thanks. I think we need to be done here.
I suppose it’s about that time. Wanna go get a beer and shoot some
foosball?
I thought you’d never ask.
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