Monday, February 13, 2017

If You Don't Have Any Pitchers, Do Just The Catchers Report? Your 2017 "Feelin' It in Fort Myers!" Twins Season Preview

Joe and Justin stop being polite and start getting real. Courtesy of SI.

Oh, how I long for the days of Johan for eight innings and Joe Nathan flappin’ his gums and slammin’ the door. How I pine for another year with Francisco Liriano’s garbage-pail filthy slider. Really, how I would tolerate a season of Brad Radke, Rick Reed, and Sweatin’ Out the Ninth with Everyday Eddie.

For someone who purports to be a keen Minnesota sports observer, I am grossly unqualified to write a Minnesota Twins preview this year. I can name three pitchers on the current team: Ervin Santana, Trevor May, and I Think We Still Have Glen Perkins. Is Ricky Nolasco still cashing checks that feature the Twins watermark? (Yes, but he won’t be pitching for us; the Twins will pay $4m of his salary while he blows chunks for the Angels.) Is Carl Pavano and his patented “Pav ‘Stache” still in the league? (Huh? No.) How about “Fireball Phil” Hughes, is he still in the rotation? (Yes.) Do we have a bullpen? (The physical structure? Yes. Pitchers to fill the structure? Debatable.)