This is Part 2 of a 7-part look-back at what happened in Minnesota sports over the past 12 months. Some of these stories are obviously figments of my imagination. A couple actually happened. These are the tales, imageries, conversations, and visualizations that best described, at least for me, what it meant to be a Minnesota sports fan over the past 12 months.
Cal Clutterbuck, commencing his traditional post-goal rendition of "The Circle of Life." Courtesy of the AP. |
The game proceeded as most other high-stakes contests had during the time I had known these guys. Tense stretches of rising action followed by Vesuvius bursts of unfettered emotion: directed at refs, at the personal shortcomings of opposing players, at the heroics of Josh Harding, the Wild’s emergency man-between-the-pipes.
And then, late in the first OT period, Chicago’s Johnny
Oduya sent a ridiculous 70-foot pass off the right-side Plexiglas to a cutting
Viktor Stalberg. Stalberg’s perfect centering pass to Bryan Bickell allowed
Bickell to round a beaten Josh Harding and throw an easy back-handed shot into
the twine. We let out a deflated collective sigh as United Center erupted.
Was this the game-winning goal from Game 1? You make the call! |
“Well, at least we got a point,” he said.
It was April 30, 2013, and Game 1 of the Wild-Blackhawks series
was our first winter pro team playoff viewing experience in five years, so we
gave him a break. Decided not to bust his balls too hard. But we did have to
break the news to Tom that there is no playoff team point system. The Wild lost
the game and the West’s top-seeded team was now one win closer to eliminating
our plucky squad in the first round of the playoffs.
He sat, stone-faced, for a minute as this news soaked in.
Then his lower lip started to quiver. “Oh…oh, Tommy,” we said with equal parts
pity and understanding, but the 6-foot-5 Thomas had already begun the hard charge
to his bedroom pillow for a healthy cry, his size-14 Crocs thumping through the
creaky floorboards of our three-story Edina home.
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Tom’s misguided but well-intentioned post-Game 1 statement
actually serves as a pretty keen descriptor for the Wild’s 2013 calendar year—well,
for the first 11 months of it, anyway. Once the lockout ended in mid-January new
additions Zach Parise and Ryan Suter finally got to show off why they deserved
their twin 13-year, $98 million deals, with Parise leading the team in goals
and points, and Suter tallying 28 assists to pace the squad while leading the league in time on the ice.
Ryan Suter! Zach Parise! NEXT on CNN's newly re-booted "Crossfire"!!! |
The Wild needed to scramble to even qualify for that eighth playoff
spot, as an April swoon of six losses in the month’s first seven games had them
briefly outside the conference’s top eight. Their tense season finale victory
over Colorado became a necessity to keep Columbus from earning the final berth
in the West.
The lockout-shortened season’s condensed schedule exposed
the Wild’s lack of quality depth, and a late-season trade for reliable winger
Jason Pominville was negated by a nasty elbow to the face from L.A. Kings captain Dustin Brown in the third-to-last game of the year. The resulting
concussion knocked Pominville out of the majority of the Blackhawks series.
"Tonight, the role of 'Minnesota sports fan' will be played by Jason Pominville's chin." Courtesy of ProHockeyTalk.com. |
A six-game losing skid in which they couldn’t even muster an
OT point and rarely looked competitive closed out the Wild’s December and has
coincided with mounting injuries to some of the team’s biggest names. Harding,
Parise, center Mikko Koivu, and defenseman Jared Spurgeon are all currently on
the shelf. The Wild probably wish Russia would have scheduled the damn Olympics
(“IT’S SOME KIND OF COMMIE PLOT, I KNOW IT. U-S-A, U-S-A.” –Jake Holsten) a little
sooner than mid-February. With four of the team’s (probably) ten best players
sitting out, the losses—and heat below the seat of coach Mike Yeo—may continue
to mount in the meantime.
Fun fact: Google tries to auto-correct "Mike Yeo sad" to "make you sad," which is what Yeo's dump-and-chase scheme does to Wild fans. |
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Tony and I gave him a few minutes before ascending the
basement stairs to see if he was doing any better.
The sobstorm had subsided to some light, drizzly moaning
when we entered Tom’s room to try and console the guy. “You just…you try kind
of hard and you do okay, and I don’t know…I just thought we’d get a little
something at the end of the day,” he said, muffled, with his head buried in the
pillow. We tried to level with him and agreed that some guys had played pretty
well but that it would be pretty dumb to give points for overtime playoff
losses, because how would that be different from the regular season? That
reasoning didn’t make much sense. Also, Chicago was probably just the better
team.
He picked his head up off the pillow, puffy bags already formed
under his eyes. “Yeah, I know,” he said. “I just wish we were the better team.
Once. Ever. In anything. Besides women’s hockey.”
Such is life as a fan of Minnesota sports.
Pictured: An honest-to-goodness successful Minnesota sports team. Courtesy of the Star Tribune. |
Outside of a Game 3 overtime win—before which coach Mike Yeo
implored his team to heed the words of Olivia Newton-John and get physical, physical—the Wild looked largely outclassed by the stronger, deeper, Stanley
Cup-winning Hawks squad. Five games into their first playoff appearance in five
years, the Wild’s season came to a close. Tony and I were disappointed, but Tom’s
pillowcase probably took it the hardest.
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Highlight: The Wild finally bested the Timberwolves in what
might as well have been named the Kraft Fight Winter Futility Bowl; both teams
hadn’t sniffed the playoffs in several years, but the Wild’s 3-1 win over the
Avalanche on the season’s last night secured their first post-season appearance
in seasons.
Lowlight: The Wild sort of gained a reputation among my
friends for being terrible in shootouts, but they actually won four of their
six games that went to shootouts last season and have won five of nine such
contests this year. However, Opening Night at the X this year was one big two-minute-long fart noise of a sudden-death decider against the Kings. Parise
and Koivu didn’t even get shots off, and Backstrom was completely flummoxed by
two backhands.
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