Wild and Children First, or, Maybe Gonna Give You Up, or, I’m Gettin’ Too Old for This: The Ethics and Adjudication of Taking a Break from One Team to Get Closer to Another

Courtesy of Forbes.

I’ve been hung up on this piece for the last six weeks, mostly because I couldn’t settle on a title. That’s why there’s three of them.

And then the always entertaining Michael Rand kicked me into high gear by posting an article at the Star Tribune Tuesday investigating whether Minnesota sports fans can believe that this year’s Wild won’t let folks down by going on one of their long winter skids that have derailed each of their last 3 seasons. The article’s headline: “Is it safe to go ‘all in’ on the Wild? Yes and no.” Don’t be wishy-washy, Michael—they’re a Minnesota sports team. The answer is no.

Don't Buy a House: Catching Up with Minnesota Sports in 2,100 Words or Less

First rule of buying a house: Don't buy this tiny of a house.

On May 30th, my girlfriend and I closed on a house just east of the Minnesota State Fairgrounds. This was the culmination of a whirlwind month-long search to find a place we could afford in a nice neighborhood relatively close to where we worked. A couple dozen showings and open houses into our search, we found what would become our new house on the last day before we would have to switch our focus to rentals. It's a charming 3-bedroom with room for renovation in the finished upstairs and enough work done in the "unfinished" basement to host Vikings games and (heaven forbid) the occasional Minnesota playoff contest.

The Week in Review: Preakness Stakes Edition

As we amble into the long summer months, the nights containing multiple Minnesota sports contests have dwindled to near nil due to the ineptitude of our winter franchises. A night with no Twins game and no Lynx contest, then, seemed like the perfect period for reflection on recent exploits of the field and court. Our barometer this week involves the equines who made the 137th Preakness Stakes the most thrilling two minutes of the weekend. Annnnnd they're off...

Did I Miss Anything? A Retrospective: Red Sox 11, Twins 2

I'm really glad that my friend Silky had such a great time at the Twins-Angels game last week. He got to see a Twins victory, which must have been a lot of fun. I dunderheadedly decided that this would be the season I would become (part of) a (group of friends who went in on a 20-game pack and, subsequently and fractionally became a) Twins season ticket holder. What great luck. In honor of the Twins second 2-game winning streak of the year (Tigers SUCK!), here is a retrospective of the events that took place around Target Field while my dad and I sort of paid attention to a Twins blowout loss on April 24.

I Was There: Twins Win!

Twins win! as you may or may not be able to tell from the crummy cell-phone pic.

The Twins took on the California Angels of Los Angeles via Anaheim™ Tuesday night, and our good friend n00b was kind enough to offer me a ticket to the game. I couldn’t refuse n00b’s generosity, but my hopes were low, as the forecast called for rain, and the Twins’ play of late has been...less than stellar. Let’s just say that, on both accounts, I was pleasantly surprised.

Just How Right Are the Prices: The Week in Review

Much like the yodeler from Cliff Hangers who makes his way up the mountain, hoping not to crash at the apex of his ascent, it's been a week of high hopes and dramatic tumbles for your local squads.

MelAnChoLy in Minnesota: A Stroll Through the Ligament Graveyard

O I say these are not the parts and poems of the body only, but of the soul,

O I say now these are the soul!

--Walt Whitman, "I Sing the Body Electric"

The drive to Virginia, Minnesota, takes about three and a half hours from my home in the southwest suburbs of Minneapolis. Tony, Silky, and I made the trip Wednesday afternoon with solemn business on our minds. We are three of the youngest members of the Ligament Induction Panel, and the news had just come through the wire that Twins pitcher Scott Baker would miss the 2012 season to fix and rehab the flexor pronator tendon in his pitching elbow.

Game of Groans: The Week in Review

Tough week for sports fans in Minnesota (or as I call it, Wester-gross). Here’s a brief summary:

Your 2012 Minnesota Twins Season Preview: A Rational Roundtable Discussion

Tony Davis: 75/1.

“Moneyball,” the recent Academy Award nominee for “Best Picture,” taught viewers one golden rule regarding baseball: Statistics matter. It is possible for teams to base projections off of numbers and mathematical equations. Batting average, OBP, ERA, WHIP, and hundreds of other statistical categories define the game of baseball in the modern era. For the sake of this season preview, let’s focus on one ratio. 75/1. These are the current odds for the Minnesota Twins to win the World Series in 2012. 

The Fiscal Year of Our Discontent: Article 1

Combined Win-Loss Records, March 31, 2011-March 29, 2012

Minnesota Gophers (BKB) 23-14 (.590)

Minnesota Gophers (FB) 3-9 (.250)

Minnesota Timberwolves 25-35 (.417)

Minnesota Twins 63-99 (.389)

Minnesota Vikings 3-13 (.188)

Minnesota Wild 34-38-10 (.415)

Combined: 151-218 (.409)

FY 2012 has largely been an unkind one for Minnesota sports fans. Losses mounted quickly as quarterbacks were battered, shootouts were squandered in embarrassing fashion, and all kinds of collateral ligaments were torn asunder. Our most successful team percentage-wise--Gophers' basketball--possessed zero players who wanted to even attempt a shot in a late-game, high-pressure situation against Michigan State one month ago. The past year has been so bad for our big-time sports teams that you could make a compelling argument that the best Minnesota athlete of the past year was actually the guy who finished 2011 as the top-ranked American tennis player in the world: Mardy Fish. And he's only a Minnesotan inasmuch as he learned to burp and crawl and use a potty here before his family moved to Florida when he was four years old.

Whether it's warranted or not, Minnesota fans have a reputation for loudly applauding our occasional flashes of brilliance and largely condoning the long periods of subsequent mediocrity. We break audience decibel-level records when we make the World Series, but mostly, we hope that our general managers know what they're doing when they bring in the Mike Lambs and Kim Johnssons of the sports world to fix our teams' glaring holes. And as the win-loss records show, the past 12 to 18 months in particular have been a special kind of emotional beat-down for the followers of the most prominent local squads.

Now, there have been signs of life with certain squads lately. The Wolves have again become a hot ticket with their exciting brand of play this season, and both big-money Gophers squads (with the promising late-season look of Jerry Kill's squad and a dangerous Hollins-Mbakwe duo on the 2012-13 horizon) look as though they might finally be heading in an upward trajectory. But it seems for every Kevin Love 40-point outing we've celebrated, there has been, say, a Zack Bowman signing that makes Vikings fans wonder if our front office remembers what a competent football player looks like and threatens to drag the whole fan base a little deeper into the dredges.

What I (and several of my friends, who will occasionally contribute as writers and editors) hope to do through this site is analyze, criticize, yell and scream, stomp and cheer, and generally translate Minnesota fandom into the written word. You can expect to check us out a couple times a week for new content here in our infancy. I'm especially excited to try out a few original types of blog posts, including installments of the "21 Years..." series, in which we count down various lists of the top 21 athletes, events, and...I don't know, local beers that have helped define and shape life as a Minnesota sports fan in the time since our last major professional or collegiate title. You can also expect to find Game of the Week breakdowns; commentaries and columns; occasional tangents into topics like local music, un-American football, and video games; and a live blog or two, once I figure out how to work this here Internet device.

We're Minnesota. We're the fan base that knows more about the symptoms and ramifications of bilateral leg weakness than any other in the country. We're the state whose catered food is apparently so bad, it can serve as the catalyst for the messy departure of a beloved Hall of Fame-caliber athlete. We're the people who ask to be circled by a Dutchman who loves his flatulence, and we hold up signs at our one championship-caliber team's playoff games that say "At Least We Got Da Lynx."

Sometimes fatalistic, often irrational, occasionally analytical, always entertaining. The qualities of the fans I have met while rooting for the teams of this state are the ones that I hope come through most evidently on this website. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go celebrate a nail-biter of a Timberwolves victory over the cellar-dwelling Bobcats by muttering complaints about Anthony Tolliver into a Soco Seven.

**Special thanks right off the bat goes out to Tim Lien for putting all the balls on a rack, just how I wanted them, in the header design.